I agree with the others....while any "rational" person would want to know the truth about the one they are with...MLC'er don't want the truth...they LOVE their FANTASY...
If you or Mrs. S were to say anything it would only put H on the defensive....unless you have the pictures to prove it, as a friend of mine always says to me, don't believe it....
Keep the drama out...don't discuss this again with Mr. or Mrs. S....or anyone....just keep going on about your life, business and children...it sounds like H is teetering....if you "threaten" OW....that is like telling him he is an idiot for being with her....it will only want to make H prove to the world how wonderful OW is....if EVERYONE backs off of OW...then H will have time to "clearly focus" his attention on her and eventually see OW for who she "really" is...
imLIN - Thanks for your words of wisdom and that's what they are truly!! You each help me in so many ways!
Theoden! You are too much!!!
I just realized that for the last few days I have NOT had those huge waves of sadness take me completely over. Mind you I have moments of sadness - but not the unbearable waves like weeks ago. Maybe my heart is catching up to my brain with all this DBing!!!!
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
Well dinner went good though the power went off/on during the day and the bread maker never came back on!!! H LOVES fresh bread (darn)!!!!
So I got home early H was doing the credit card bill and kids doing homework - who would know the underlying dysfunction!!
H eat three helpings amd killed off the remaining broccoli and had some oreos with the kids. I teased him about trying to eat all MY food! HA!
H & I talked about Mrs. S and I asked why he was being so rude to her when all along he was the nicest one to her (more so than even me). I just said her and Ow had a falling out and that I am sure a lot of 'truths' could be found with her...Left it as that...
H mentioned that one of our close friends who just found out about all this drama (from Ow Ex last Fri at Pub) pulled up along side him in our school parking lot. She told him he can't keep avoiding her. She really let him have it (she WAS friends with the Ow but better friends with H and I) and told him only HE can fix this. She did all of this w/o any prompting from me (I SWEAR). I think they talked 15 mins and H said he just did not want to hurt either of us (Me or Ow). H told our friend that the Ow did not even try and just up and file for D and that he did not mean for it to get this out of control. She said a lot to him and I hope he maybe can really listen to her and not get the blinders on. He did tell me that they talked but did not mention any of this heart to heart stuff.
H is getting a cold so I got him some meds out of our bathroom he took some extra items from home and I was the loving wife helping him out. I did tell him I have stopped with the extreme sadness and than I am doing much better. He said that make him feel good - relieve some stress on him. I said I am out of the vortex and it helps to be away from the drama....
Well when the bread was finished I buttered up three pieces and put them in my hot food carrier, called him to make sure he was up and took him the bread (in an ice storm nonetheless) - he seemed very happy. I called myself the desparate housewife but told him I know how much he likes warm bread. Hugged and said goodnight. All in All a VERY positive night!
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
Glad to hear, sounds like something was in the air last night. Everyone so far seems to have had a positive night. I am loving it. The postitive thread should be rockin'
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
Talked to H on phone and he thanked me again for the bread ("And you buttered it too!") so I guess the trek out in an ice storm was so worth it! I just need to keep shining!
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
Again, be careful with others getting involved...if this friend who talked to husband did so on her own you can't prevent that...but when these same friends want to come report to you what they said....or even if H wants to tell what they said you need to STOP...say, I really don't care to discuss this...it is personal to me....or personal to you (H)....I have removed myself from this drama...
I would also stay far away from conversations about Mrs. S...OW....any comments like
"I am sure a lot of 'truths' could be found with her"
While he didn't say anything about it now...this could come back to bite you later...
Remember the less people you talk to or that talk to you the less likely anything will come back on you....and that IS WHAT YOU WANT....no more drama...no more "he said/she said/ow said/friend said.....see?
Glad to hear the night was good overall and that eventually the bread got done....
Thats what I am doing, letting her chase me now. I have chased her for seven months, and now that I work on making myself comfortable in our home, I feel the eggshells are gone. I could see a little look in her eye last night, something long gone. Maybe it was me but I noticed something.
Like theo said, watch your heart. I have mine wrapped soo tight in my Son, that I don't let every little thing turn me in to a hopefull mess. I just set myself up for disappointment. I have a little hope, and it keeps me from jumping the gun. I pray hard, and keep a PMA.
Be strong and be proud of your night last night. But refuel, the road is very long.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
