thought I'd start a new thread if for no other reason than to get rid of the angry tone of the last one...things are moving along...at a good pace...however patience has never been a virtue of mine.
h is working his way back home but I am begining to fear we will end up right back in the same rut. probably just the snowstorms throwing off h's sleep a bit and therefore making him fall asleep, I suppose inorder to keep from falling back into the old pattern I will attempt to not take it personally when h falls asleep on the couch!! hey we all get tired sometimes right!
LL who so wants her h to put back on his wedding band and even more so wants h to ask for her to put hers back on too!!
LL you have done a great job so far with paitence, I too am not real good at that, but sure have learned alot about change. So I know that this is a crazy question(I kinda figured it out!!!)But LL and Steph, both you and spouses took off rings when you seperated? I never even gave that a thought and h still has his on.Interesting if everyone does or not..PLEASE don't think I am criticizing I was just curious if most take them off. Sue
I just read your old thread. I know about the feeling about having h followed. I almost did, then thought No way, I don't need/want that. I was feeling so good about us until I talked to my sister and she started putting doubts in my head, and I thought maybe I really am being fooled. I got a grip and told myself that it will all work out eventually. If we are able to mend it, I will thank God everyday that I did not act on impulse and hearsay. If it all goes to H*** , then I hope I am strong enough to deal with it.You are the one in control of you, look back on a month or two ago, how far you have come and do these doubts seem less to you? They are bound to as you piece your m back. Hang in there, you are strong Sue
Hey LL, Thought I would come over and visit. Maybe someday I can graduate to the "Piecing" thread. I'm going to wait until I see some definite movement from my W.
It sure sounds like you are doing well. I knew you would. You sound great - really got yourself together. Keep up the good work.
LL. About the wedding ring, we must fabricate a new model, MLC wedding ring, so they can use it with the confort they want...!! You are doing great, and sounds good to change your thread name...!!
I never did like when it would snow as it would mean h would be out all night plowing...on occasion during storms he would stay at his brothers (who lives closer to the area that he plows) for convienience to not wake in the middle of the night not knowing what the weather was like down there...of course then it bothered me a bit but no real complaints from me.. now that there has been ow (ea pa does it matter) and h has his appartment I like it less...yesterday morning h left for work as usual (though with the winter weather here I don't know what he's doing all day) he did not come home...went to his appartment to nap? called at about 8 to chat a bit (I teased him a bit, but he still would not come up here) was planning to go back to sleep and then head out to plow at around midnight..well there was a power surge here at 11:30 and it freaked me out so I called his cell (there is no phone that I know of for his appt, it is a basement) no answer so I left a message. did not hear from h til just a moment ago..9 30...the answer machine was not on, I had decided to not answer and was in the bathroom anyway..h called twice and with the third call I answered..he apparently slept til 2 am...then went out plowing was in an area that does not have service and that is why he didn't call til 9. is heading back to the office to wrap up this storm and then will head home (what time that will be I do not know) but it is still snowing here and there though it was supposed to stop.
I don't feel like being around tonight..want to go out for a bit by myself but am unsure what to do.
one of my girlfriends had asked if we would join her and her bf sat night out..then realized they already had txt to see a hokey game..asked h if he would still like to go out with just me...he said yes, but I could not find a sitter...so we will stay home...told him to just be creative and come up with something for us to do here in the home.
it seems though we have gone out together I am ususally the one in charge of suggesting it and making the plans,, even if it is to go out with his parents or friends. but looking back over the years it seems that has always been the case (how to get the other to do a 180??) I would like to be asked out, I would like for him to want to take me somewhere to think and come up with something to do with me other than sit in front of the fire and please me (hey not that I mind that part)
guess I am just missing the romance...I know it is unhealthy but I would like to (at least for a bit) feel like I am special to h.
I don't know how I feel today about h. I will say nothing to him, but upon hearing that he didn't wake to go plowing til 2 am it does bother me that at 8 30 he chose to not come here.
sadly I don't feel much better than I did a year ago upon finding out about his "secret friendship" with ow...yes there are some things he's doing better...being more physical..talking a bit more etc..
but the fact remains..that he voluntarily took her out to lunch on several occasions...left the office to take her to a doctors appointment (yes that is how he got caught, one of my friends saw him in the elevator with her there) I do not know how much time he did spend with her all together, how many lunch dates, I do know that he stopped by her home 3x a week, and did take her out (to dinner or something) at night while we were seperated (actually we still are) I assume that he also met up with her on occasion after work at the 99 before I knew about the r and hell maybe even after...I doubt that any of this time spent was at her request...so it troubles me that h doesn't ask to spend time with me outside of the house...I know it was much easier with her...she had her h there to watch the kids so there was no need to get a sitter (kinda sounds like jim from bostons story) and somehow during the day managed to get away kid free too... many many times during the summer that I was preg with dd. i would stop by the shop on my way home with son so he could see daddy as daddy often left for work long before he woke and didn't come home til he was asleep sooo I'd ask if he wanted to grab lunch and he was always to busy (with work) so then why call ow to go to lunch several times but not bother to call w to bring down son or why deny the time to son.
guess I'm just in a funk...hate the snow and cold...it's pretty but depressing being stuck in the house with two little ones.
h just called (seems to always call while I'm posting) he's on his way home now...i let him know I went up to the attic to get some decorations...it's a bother we have too much (to many gifts from the inlaws) so I bring down a bunch of bins and still not find the things I'm looking for...I will be donating a whole bunch of it this year to save myself the aggrivation next year.. I asked h if the snow was done..he said yes he should be all set once he gets home. I let him know that I may be going out this evening...h said ok if thats what you want to do..(he still doesn't get it no matter how many times I tell him, "if you would prefer I spend time with you but are trying to respect my space then say so...just say "i would like to spend time with you!! damn it!" I let h know that i wasn't sure yet but felt that i needed to get out for a while. he said ok, if that's what you want to do. then sounded a bit bummed, but it is not my job to read his mind, speak up h!!! is what I want to hear!
