Thanks for the encouragement, hairdog. Putting this in writing is definitely helping me, and if it helps others, even better.
Your story has some parallels to my wife's story. Azzhole dad. Mother who 'overshares' (although, my W, I think, found out about how she was conceived -- essentially a date rape -- from one of her aunts.
Wow. Did your MIL marry your wife's bio father? Did your wife grow up with him? The biggest thing that sticks out in my mind is that a child that is the product of rape is a daily reminder of the incident. I can't imagine this not having an effect on the way your wife was treated and viewed by her mother. Getting married simply because two people had sex and the woman got pg can create its own problems, never mind having date-rape in the mix.
Has your wife talked about this? Has she talked about her feelings about it?
On a lighter note, your "Hairdog, who..." taglines crack me up!
