I can't in my heart say what you are saying. I can't let go like that.
Maybe I'm a little too religiously constipated, I don't ever think that my wife can TRULY be happy by running off with the OM, even if she thinks/feels she is happy.
What if, in our ethical/religious understanding you believe that and affair and a divorce doesn't just "hurt my feelings", but is, fundamentally wrong?
There will always be someone out there who can make us happier than ther person we are with. What's the solution? Serial monogamy?
I'm sorry - you have struck a deep, deep nerve.
And I understand that DB says that a person will not come back to you because it's their "duty", but because they want to. I agree. But what does the marriage promise mean then?
And I realize we are trying to invite not indict. We are trying to attract nor coerce.
But is that a marriage? A place where, indeed, only our personal fulfullment is the barometer of the cohesion of the family? Is the marriage, really then, a situation of "What have you done for me lately?"
I also agree with you...I believe my wife's happiness will ultimately be fully fulfulled with me and the kids, and I realize SHE has to see that. I can't make her see it.
I just, in my heart, can't be that "zen" about it. I'm learning all this psycho-babble and practicing DB, but, for heavens' sake, can't we be HONEST with each other and say, "Yeah, adultery is a sin, divorce is a sin, and MLC are self-indulgent, destructive flights of fancy
By the way....contgatulations on your divorce busted.
