I agree, she will only be attracted to a strong, confident man.
That is what I will work towards regardless of what she wants or does.
I guess the rewriting the marriage is not such a stretch when you examine their current behavior. She is so willing to overlook good things and manufacture bad things as a way to justify the choices she is making.
I will continue to be supportive and validate her feelings, but at some point don't you just have to call her bullsh!t what it is? I know arguing with her will get me nowhere that I want to be, but I think you can validate and defend yourself. "I am sorry that you feel that way. What would help?, because nothing could be further from the truth."
the strong, confident man comes with GAL. when you stop riding her roller coaster , the strut will return. I know it's easier said then done, But the more you do it, the easier it gets.
I would listen to everything my wife had to say, I would validate her feelings. but when she would rewrite history, I would end the conversation right there. man that would piss her off, at first, she'd stomp out and give the the even colder shoulder. I told her I'm happy to listen to your feelings and thoughts, but when you change history, you're lying, and I don't do lies. it's a boundary I had to set. it's a risk when you do this, it can blow them right out the door. but to me it was hard enough to go through what she did without listening and trying to defend bullshit. it took a couple weeks of her being furious at me, but she learned the only way to talk to me is with honesty.
what made it hard at first was she had this "friend" who pumped her full of crap, and over time it started to take hold. I told her to be honest with herself and separate what her friend said with what really happened. took awhile, but she finally saw her friend was full of shit. (her friend is in a bad marriage and wanted a roommate when she left him. (she never did leave him, she just keeps cheating on him)
anyway, I use this approach with my kids, co-workers, everyone. if I smell BS, I walk away.
Don't know if this helps at all, 81. but it worked for me.
