I think I belong here.

[peaceful_spirit]

Choc,
My story is so long with so many details. No, it doesn't justify him going outside the M. And it took him a long time to figure out why he did feel the need to go outside the M. Believe me, I was ready for a D. I had an L... we had gone to mediation. I was ready. Then he came back and admitted he was having trouble and needed to get help. That's when I decided to let it play out to see if he could get the help he so needed. Just to be clear, this isn't all about sex. he just needed help in general becuase he was very confused and didn't know what he was feeling.

On the surface, it looks like i've let him come and go as he pleases. I have wanted to throw in the towel many times. But as H and I have explored these issues deeper, we've identified that there are underlying problems going on with him, for which he is getting help. He was at one time very opposed to seeing a counselor. But now he goes every week. He has also seen a psychiatrist and we were in MC for a long time. Also, when I say he has "come back", i only mean that we've recommitted to trying to work on the M. He has not moved back in, nor will until I feel completely secure that these issues have been worked through and resolved.

As far as him saying something before, up until the A happened, it was him nagging me for sex, as you said above. No, he NEVER told me how important it was to him. In fact, he told me the other day that he would tell himself it was no big deal, but that he realized that it is a big deal. I viewed sex as an extra... something that H wanted but didn't need and something that I didn't wnat or need. WHen the reconcilliation started to get underway, we did talk about it. I knew it was one of his issues. But it wasn't until this past week that I understood just how strongly he felt about it. It was quite eye opening to me.

Lil,
Thanks for the reassurance. I guess I jsut don't know what the normal sex drive of a man really is. My H has just never opened up to me about it before.