Here's the latest addition to my sitch. Payday came and went, and I didn't hear anything from H., so I called him. This is the first contact I've had with him since he left almost 3 weeks ago. He didn't sound good at all, in fact for about 30 seconds I thought I was talking to someone else. To make a long story short, he did come through with the money, and came over when I was home, even though he had the option to come while I was at the Dentist. He looked like hell! Glassy eyes, long face, looked like he'd been up all night.
I told him that I shouldn't have to ask him for money, and he agreed. I said "just because there's one less body in this house doesn't mean that heat costs any less, or electricity, or that credit cards and house payments don't have to be made." He didn't appear to get mad at this nasty comment, and just said the standard "I know...."
We talked about alot of things, no mention of a D., but he made it clear he doesn't plan to come back, as we talked about what he wanted to take from the house, and their plans to find another place to rent so he can have his Dog.
When he dropped the bomb a year ago I refused to sleep in the same bed with him, and a friend gave him a bed. He'd left it here, but decided to take it now because the OW's 19 year old daughter wants to stay with them when she's home on the weekends from college. What a wonderful lesson to teach a young girl! It makes me sick! I know this isn't any of my business, and I have to stop thinking about it!
He told me if I need anything, not to hesitate to call him, and I said that goes both ways. I bummed a couple of cigarettes off him because I'm in the process of quitting. We laughed about it, and before I went to bed, I found two cigarettes he'd left me on top of the fridge. Amazing how they can be so damn selfish, and then have a moment when they do think of someone else! He wanted to know how I got hay for the Horses (we use the big 600Lb bales) and I told him how our friend helped me. He seemed surprised that I could handle this task without him. I've told him all along, that I want him, I don't need him. Must suck not to be needed afterall!
I told him about my trip to the ER, and how the Dr. said it was all stress related. He was genuinely concerned.
My voice cracked a couple of times during the conversation, and I couldn't look at him when he was leaving, as I just about broke down in front of him.
As always, thanks for listening!
Danu
Everything happens for a reason, and through this journey I will learn many things about myself
