Ophelia - read the ridiculously long other message I sent back to Theoden that talks about all of this...you can see from my message, that my husband has known for MANY MANY years of my unhappiness in our marriage. And yes, I do think that now he probably knows I have given up because it's been 2-1/2 years since our last big discussion about it, and you are right - I spend a lot of time apart from him. We spend PLENTY of time together with the kids doing all kinds of activities, vacations, etc. - the children keep us together...
I really don't think I'm ready to LEAVE my husband - I really am the textbook WAW if you read Michelle's letter, because I am that one who is now waiting it out...till the right time to leave. And when/if that does happen, I will remind him of all of the talks we had in the past...but if I leave it will not be for the/a OM, it will be for me. I just don't think I will be able to tell him about the OM because I don't want him to be hurt that much.
I know EVERYONE here is urging me to cut off contact with the OM. I just CAN'T do that right now...I understand ALL of the reasons why I should, but I can't bear to lose the friendship. I just think it is so unfair that I am supposed to lose someone who has meant SO MUCH to me, who I can EFFORTLESSLY connect with, a person who doesn't even have to TRY and just makes me HAPPY with a simple conversation? I am supposed to give that up for someone who I have struggled with for over 20 years!
It's funny that your H referred to himself as an actor! I feel like that all the time with my husband. I put a smile on my face, and a twinkle in my eye, and pretend like everything is great. But I don't talk much. I think of things that I would tell him about, and then I don't even say them because I think "why bother" all I'm going to get is an "oh that's nice" or "hmmmm...." or "whatever you want"....
Well - if anything, maybe someone who still has some hope left in their marriage can read some of this before it's too late, and take the signs seriously...and really do something about it now...
