I've taken responsibility for my part in that and feel awful about it and have apologized too many times to count.
BS, BS, and more BS. Why does everyone insist on taking responsibility for affairs. Long number lady, you weren't the ideal spouse, no one is, but he choice to cheat on you. He took the "easy" way out. And how many times did he apologize? I bet none because you beat him to the punch. All you did was provide him a good excuse, "yes, you pushed me to it". Blah!
Quote:
Maybe that gave me, as you suggested, space that I need as well. I have even tinkered tonight with the thought of acting like nothing happened and not even asking him about it when I see him next.
I don't think you used that time as you probably could have. You drove by her house and perseverated on him. Not good. And I wouldn't act like nothing happened. I'm sure that most on here would suggest doing that. I personally wouldn't ask what was up...I'd just ask him to go. I'd collect his stuff and leave it in the entryway. Ask FindingLisa at what point her husband started crawling. ..it was when she told him to get out. It was when she stopped putting up with this. Stopped playing second fiddle to another woman.
Is this what you deserve from life? I think you deserve better. I'm not asking you to chuck 10 years of marriage out the window; I'm suggesting you let him go. Free yourself and him. He needs to work through whatever is going on (and there is no alien...that's just a convenient excuse for when the spouse starts thinking solely of themselves) and you need to find the strength, confidence, and happiness that is inside you. You can be happy and fulfilled without him. If he ever gets his head out, you can share that with him, if you still want to.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
