I know. I think the best thing I could have done was to stop calling. I know that so many people tried to tell me that but as you know...we do what feels right at the time.
I won't call him. I will let him keep calling me. It actually feels good that he is calling me. It just shows me that he is thinking of me even if it is just to chat.
He was upset that his mom didn't call him yesterday, on his 30th birthday. But he knows that she is angry with him. I didn't say much about it, just that i hate being in the middle of this.
I will give more updates as they become available Oh, i have another session with the MC tonight. I have been going frequently just to get my thoughts out there.
So when is spring coming?!?!? I am so sick of this ice. I can deal with the snow but not the ice.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Good, because I will be in San Antonio next week where it will be in the 70s......
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I am just trying to get rid of some emotions right now.
H met me and S5 and D4 at the mall yesterday for about 2 hours. We had a really good time. We spent alot of time in the arcade letting the kids play. H talked about several things that we used to play before we had the kids. It was a nice time. Then I found out that he was going to a 'party' last night. He didn't seem too thrilled while telling me. Almost as if he wanted to stay at the mall. I don't know. He told me that one of his guy friends was throwing the party. I looked at him and said "are you sure it isn't her that is throwing it?" Then I told him about her saying that she was going to throw one and invite me. I told him "She just isn't all there." He just looked at me and grinned.
So the more I think about him taking her around his friends, the more disgusted and discouraged I get. I try to keep thinking about all the times he calls me and just wants to small talk. That is a big step. But then I just want to look at him and drag him home. I am working on my patience but at times it gets to me.
This week is a week of prayer and fasting at church. I am going to do this and pray for restoration of my family and my marriage!
I am trying to eliminate R talk and let things work almost like dating again. Is he hiding his contact with me from her?
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Who cares? Seriously, you have got this far by just being yourself and living your life. Quit worrying about what he is doing and when he is doing it...He seems to be comming around at least that is my opinion. However, he is no where close to comming home yet. At least you guys can spend time together as a family and even kinda start the dating process again. What I would do to be able to have even a little bit of the taste of that again with my STBX.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive and kicking. I am just sitting back right now watching things unfold in my sitch. Alot of things have happened but I don't want to go into too many details. I may jinx myself. Just keep praying because things seem to be happening, slowly but at least D has not been discussed in a very long time.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Ok...everyone hold onto your seats. H came over yesterday while I was still at work. He stayed there to watch 2 of the 3 kids so that my mom and S5 could go to church. When I got home, he was running the sweeper. We put the kids to bed and then he said that he wanted to come over this morning to say gbye to me and the kids before we take off to see his mom in NC. (by the way, he is not going and was not invited) We talked for a few more minutes and then I walked him to the door like every other time. Our 5 month old was fussing so I went in to pick him up and came back to say goodbye to H. I gently rubbed H's stomach and told him to go get some sleep. ( I guess I was wishing for a Genie to pop out) No really, this is just something I normally did to show some affection. It wasn't a kiss or hug, just a nice touch and rub. This is where the lightening may strike......I said good bye and he leaned towards me. I thought he was going to give our baby a kiss and hug but he leaned in and embrased me. HE GAVE ME A HUG AND I DIDN'T INITIATE IT!!!!!!!! Scared the crap out of me. I know that you all would have smacked me but I hugged him tight and told him ILY and he said "Uh huh" I made fun of that and said it back in his ear. He leaned up and had a huge smile on his face.
I think we may be getting somewhere. I have to remember to take this slowly and let him make the first moves.
I have come to the realization that I love him but DON'T NEED HIM! I am perfectly content with where I am and who I have become. Besides, I have dropped a lot of weight and gone down 2 sizes. I feel pretty daggon good!
Just wanted to give everyone who may be interested, a little bit of an update! This was a big step in my eyes, sweeping and getting a hug! Who can beat that?!?
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Oh, i have another session with the MC tonight. I have been going frequently just to get my thoughts out there.
