I am trying not to second guess what she's thinking or her motives but I do stray! For example last night I realised that the reason she now seems so keen to see D is because D makes her feel better. It is definitely about her selfish needs.
As the sane parent, if I even had the slightest doubt that seeing me upset or disturbed my D, I would back off until she settled down. I would not want to put a child that I love unconditionally through pain. Anyway, whatever, I'll try even harder to stop now.
I am feeling quite upbeat this morning. The sun is shining, D slept everso slightly better (nightmare about purple monsters which seemed far healthier!) and lots of plans already for the weekend.
There is also the possibility of a new job on the horizon but it's in another part of the country (I know we're tiny compared to the US so that won't mean that much to you guys!) It would be about 2/3 hours drive away. Not sure I should pursue that at the moment but it could be a great opportunity which might not come up again. It would put me much nearer to my sister to whom I've become very close through this trauma and my mum would relocate too.
I don't think currently W would fight to keep D because she knows she couldn't care for her, so D would come with me (she absolutely adores my sister who lives by the seaside). So some decisions to be made. Just not sure if it's too soon.
PS LiN, Salvation Army isn't a sect but a denomination with fairly standard Protestant beliefs and an emphasis on doing social good e.g. soup runs for the homeless. Lots of music too. Generally nice people, good values. I think you and I would definitely get along.
