Tales from the Crucible: A Long Overdue Update

[MJontheMend]

I think for me the question is what is the critical or moral difference between "living in the moment" vs. "living for the moment"? Maybe it's the same as the difference between "wanting" and "needing"? Isn't it always more enjoyable to live in a moment that results from an assumption of free will and an application of self-discipline? The hand reaches for the cookie before the brain can verbalize the desire and a man can "tell" a woman that she needs to have sex with him so free will doesn't exist. Our needs are reflexive and the only self-discipline is anesthesia. But wait, I "want" to be healthy and happy and whole so I stop reaching for the cookie, I stop reaching for the man who doesn't want me. I fill the void with the power of my "will" which is really the power of my "want". Not "wanting to want" is living in fear of exerting your own will or doubting its existence. When I laugh at myself that is a powerful moment because I fully accept that I have arrived at a cr*ppy moment in my life as the result of my own free will in action so I might as well savor it.