But..is saying it's OK for him to leave if "that makes him truly" happy really honest? If it is..so be it. I could never say that honestly. --Theoden
I know this was written awhile ago, but just wanted to comment on it and share my own personal thought on this. My views may differ quite a bit from others, but it's a persepctive I want to share.
Even though it hurt and was not something I came to easily or quickly, eventually I honestly did want my husband to do what he thought might truly make him happy. I did believe his happiness would be with me and our children... however, I also felt that I had 20 years of a fairly good marriage, I had great kids and my husband did a lot for our family during that time. I was thankful for things I had and the years we were together as a family. If my husband thought he wouldn't be happy with me why would I force him or try to coerce him into staying somewhere he would be unhappy? Regardless of what he had done to hurt me, I did still love him and I honestly wanted him to do what would make him happy. If staying with me would make him unhappy and miserable I realized that wouldn't be a good situation for either of us.
Of course, regardless of what he "thought" he wanted, I did know where he'd be happiest (with me and the kids). But I needed HIM to realize that on his own. I knew there was no words I could say that would make it any different. This was a decision he needed to make on his own and it's something I realized I needed to support regardless of what decision he made.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
