Muddle, I just thought I'd mention the book I've been reading, another that may interest you. It is "How to improve your marriage without talking about it: finding love beyond words" It's approved by Michelle, so we're allowed to read it But it's whole point is about connectedness, how to do so without verbalizing and how verbalizing often inhibits connectedness between men and women. I'm finding it quite fascinating. It might also be a perfect fit for your sitch! Anyway, I hope you are well and we'll hear from you soon. BTW I'm in the middle of Barker's book on happiness that you suggested. Good stuff!
But it's whole point is about connectedness, how to do so without verbalizing and how verbalizing often inhibits connectedness between men and women. I'm finding it quite fascinating. It might also be a perfect fit for your sitch! 
