Like Snodderly, my xh has been angry for over 4 years now, his anger seems to spike when feels less in control, and when he doesn't seem to not only get his way, but when he isn't receiving the feedback he would like. For a long,long while, I thought it was only me he was erupting on, but back in January I found out differently. The accountant at the kids' orthodontist told me that he was really ugly to her one day, blamed her for not posting his payments correctly, was down right mean. I have found this person to be diligent, really personable, and always on top of nearly ever account. I apologized to her for his tantrum, and explained it had nothing to do with her, she shouldn't take his fit personally.
They have these fits of anger for a long while. Oh sure, xh seemed to have some tranquil times during the storm, but for the most part, if his rose colored glasses weren't fitting just right, he was throwing fits.
Now remember with your girls, they are teens, well, d11 is nearly teen. They have their own rollercoaster of hormones they are riding. There are days I wonder about my D14, she is beautiful, talented, intelligent, but also, can be one really obnoxious young lady. These are things to be expected with children this age anyway, without a parent who has abandoned them.
Secondly, you are going to be their sounding wall, for most, if not all of their emotions. The anger you will see.... whew! There are days I just want to walk out that door and keep on walking. Oh, I wouldn't, BUT, being on the receiving end of a lot of their anger, hurt, fears, can some times be so overwhelming. My D's C told me to expect it. Why? Because I was told I was the safe parent. They know deep in their hearts that you nor I will ever leave them, and will love them no matter what they do. So, in appreciation, we receive everything they have.
Oh, you will have the strongest bonds that no one in this world will ever divide.... but knitting bond together, takes everything you have and then some. My two are only a year a part, so I get one through one phase, and back to "normal" and then the other one goes into one of those phases... some times I feel as though I'm in my own twister, wishing I had some ruby slippers. Then I have the most perfect harmony in this home, that no one can imagine. It's been hard, but it won't be anything you can't handle.
Relax, don't look for problems, for there are many people who will come into your life that will give you a hand. Some you will meet, some you may not, and some you won't learn about until they have left the picture.
The important things you already know, you must detach, let God handle your H, take care of you and your D's needs, and trust that everything will be okay.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
