I had the A, how to regain trust?

[LoginName]

I'm not having a bad day. Having a hard time focusing on work. How are you doing today?

You know, the first books I read talked about how you should give your H all the information he wants about the A. Have you looked at any of those books? Shirly Glass has a good book on this. Marriagebuilders.com has some interesting ideas and articles. They aren't working for me so much since my W isn't "apologetic" about her A. But these books seem to say that it's OK to discuss and investigate. The stop sign thing is important for me because of my sitch. Look into them.

It is hard for me not to think of the OM as being a lot better than me. It's hard for me not feel inadequate. I remember a post Grasshopper had a while ago where he talked about how most of us didn't marry virgins and we should get over it all ready (I did marry a virgin. Lucky me. I was almost a virgin if there is such a thing). I guess it's kind of like that. Maybe you had a bf before you were married. It doesn't make sense for H to be jealous of the early bf (of course, my W's affair was with her first bf, but still, I think my point still works.)

So maybe look into more books, that website, see if that method works for you - telling your H everything he wants to know in a supportive way (don't have to go into detail about how 'good' he was). And if I were your H, I wouldn't mind hearing repeatedly how good I was and in what ways I was good. The male ego is terribly fragile, no?

THis post should be on your thread. It also should be peppered with smiley's and such, 'cause it's written with the intention of good humor and support. :-)