At the same time, it's still very much in my heart and soul to want to save our marriage, and I honestly believe we can do that if I can somehow get him to get in the boat with me and work on this.
Sometimes the means is counterintuitive. You have to save yourself first. You need to be happy in your own skin and optimistic about what your life holds for you, regardless of your H's actions. I truly believe that you need to let go. You can't force him into the boat with you, he needs to do that on his own. If he's still not even coming home and is avoiding you then he isn't there. And you aren't there either. You aren't ready to be with him. When you still feel the need to drive by work and her house, you are still desperately tied to him. He isn't the only one that needs time and space. You do to, possibly more than him. He came back too fast.
Quote:
feel like we were so close and then that I screwed everything up.
You didn't do anything. That's what I mean about your self-esteem. He doesn't end things with the other woman and you feel bad for bringing it up? I'm sorry, I just can't understand sacrificing such important things as your self-esteem, confidence, etc for this. Save yourself first. Find the woman that at some point in her life had to be independent and happy with who she was.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
