I understand where you are coming from and I commend your commitment to the marriage. Of course you should feel betrayed and lack trust, but I can't agree that you are loving your wife. You are going through the motions that the ideal husband goes through, but can you honestly say, "I'm committed to loving her", when you won't and can't lower your guard? When you externally are a model husband, but internally you are just biding your time until your obligation is ended with your death or hers?
I hope that in time your wife proves herself to you. I hope that you are able to give fully of yourself. I promise you, if you keep holding part of you back--just enough to ensure that you don't get hurt so bad--your wife will feel it. Perhaps, in time, your inability to give fully will lead to self-fulfillment of your fear; she'll look elsewhere for what is missing in your marriage. I've been there.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
