They see the attention you lavish on your wife and just want to be part of it. Perhaps the 180 would be to welcome them into the conversation. Put that lightheartedness to good use. Be silly and funny with them. Don't save all that for just your wife.
My kid's think I am the funniest, and dopiest man that ever walked. They are almost constantly in stitches over my antics and interactions. I'm really a comedian at heart, a Bill Cosby type, and can have fun with almost anything. I think the problem is that the kid's and I get going, really interacting with them like at the dinner table. Yes we all still actually sit down to dinner TOGETHER! Anyway it's hard to turn it off and give my W 100% once the kid's get going. After dinner they're supposed to be quietly doing homework, and W and I are usually doing kitchen stuff. It's our prescious little time together. But these kid's look for ANY little reason to distract them from homework, and it's GETTIN OLD!
We need to teach them how to turn it off, and focus on the task at hand. But most importantly, to not interrupt W and I. Trust me, we get VERY little private time together. So little that the time in the kitchen after dinner, doing dishes, is about it. That's why I'm so protective of it. Our kid's get more than enough attention, they really need to learn how to sit down and shut up.
Quote:
My wife says that it's attractive to her (and actually turns her on) to see me getting along well and being loving towards her children.
That is a VERY good point and I think that's a 180 that I really need to do here. I love my kid's and we get along VERY well, do MANY fun things together. But I need to stop my angry yelling at them. I just reach a certain point and that's it, I just loose it. Like when you nicely ask the kid four times to put his dirty socks in the hamper, well by the fifth time I've lost it and I'm yelling in anger. I'll try a kinder, gentler approach and maybe one with some teeth/consequences other than an angry father.
Death to self, don't feed the anger! Show her a strong, confident, and loving father, not a hot head! God help me!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
