New to Piecing II

[COG]

FrankD,

Being strong, showing leadership and most of all playing a little 'hard to get'. Women live for the chase. She has already 'caught' you. Maybe you should start teasing a little and then backing off in a 'bad boy' sort of way? Perhaps adopting a slight 'You can't have me' attitude and letting it come out - just a little bit.

I am sooo lousy at that Frank. I'm a very funny guy, wild at heart, and I can tease with the best of them, but I'm a real wuss sometimes. I know there's one thing right now that's not very attractive to her and that's my short temper with the kid's. She's calling me on it fairly regularly. It's the way I was raised, and it's tough to change, but I'm going to work harder on that. I get real snappy with them in the evenings, especially when they interrupt what prescious few moments W and I have to chat. Like while we're doing dishes together, the kid's eavesdrop, and interrupt and it just makes me homicidal so I very abruptly and angrily tell them to mind their own business and not interrupt. I know it's not attractive when I do that, but it's very frustrating when we get interrupted. So I've got to find a better way, I've tried talking to the kid's and I think they need a little refresher. I'll try that tonight. Maybe I'll speak to each one privately so they get the importance of it.

Sure, she'll tolerate small lapses in that 'attention' from you but the bottom line, as my W said to me, is that she just doesn't want to feel alone. I can withdraw, check out or whatever for short periods but I have to stay connected enough to make her feel loved.

It's interesting that my R is almost opposite. I would like W to stay connected. She tends to check out, or at least I interpret it as checking out. She's really just too tired or busy, but my need to be connected remains the same whether she's tired, grumpy or not. I've gotten much better about understanding her needs for space. Like she's PMSng right now, that means she has the look that I interpret as either "I'm tired, or I'm not real happy with you, or I wish I were not M to you, or all of the above". At least we can discuss it now, she informs me of it, and that helps me understand it and get past it.

I just downloaded the "Making Her Happy" article. It sounds interesting because it focuses on reviving or keeping the attraction alive within an existing R. Whereas most of the other self help things tend to help you into a new R. I'll check it out and hopefully put some things to use.

Thanks for your input.

God Bless,

COG

PS I checked out your most recent thread and did'nt see much about your current sitch. How are things going for you?