H coming home Friday - advice please?

[cat03]

I half agree w/ Rosy. I know my H has taken advantage of a few loopholes in our convos, so that's why I had to make sure I got a good answer. Like when I mentioned to him that I wanted us to be in agreement that he is to have no contact w/ow for ANY reason, even if she is just trying to be friendly, etc. I made sure I got a "yes".

Well, from what I've seen, cheating men dont' want to hurt the ow and either delay telling them it is over or want to wean off them gradually, and even if he moves in w/you the guilf of "doing her wrong" will be w/him for a while. He needs time to mourn the death of an R and might not be open to you right away.

If he used to go our every day after work, he prob was trying to escape something at home (and the reasons why he left and had an A). Could you both come up w/a plan in which both of you go our together?
I suggest this book to most women, becuase we are full of stupid preconceptions about men, please read "For Women Only Discussion Guide: A Companion to the Bestseller about the Inner Lives of Men" by Shaunti Feldhahn or "The proper care and feeding of husbands"

The first months are the hardest, when both of you are at odds w/each other, when you wait for "the other shoe to drop" and when either or both of you think it isnt' going to work out. It is like that, anytime you are raising a new R from the ground up, when trust has to be renewed and when both need to be forgiving.
An awesome piecing book is "Healing the hurt in your marriage", I have an excerpt of it on my thread, it deals with the pain and hurt of betrayal and the art of forgiving.