I think this is where I belong

[LoginName]

It’s very hard, but I really recommend that you don’t try to think about what your W is feeling or thinking – wondering if she is sad, depressed, or strained. Let go. Wait for her to tell you what she is feeling or felt, if she ever does. You might be surprised by what she says. I’ve been surprised by what my W has told me recently. If she’s sad, it means nothing. She could be sad because the pub ran out of her favorite beer (although my guess is she’s a lime and lager type, and doesn’t appreciate the good stuff, a nice, room temperature, flat, bitter, yum). She might be sad that she has to even see a text from you. She might be sad because she left. You can’t know. It doesn’t matter. And don’t let her feelings affect yours. If she is sad, does it make you feel better? Try not to. Don’t feel sad because of her feelings either. Detach. Feel what you feel.

Hard to do, so hard. I think it’s worth it for your own sanity and to improve the sitch. As far as I can follow my own advice, it helps me.

Good luck with the LRT. I’ve been using a modified version of it myself, and felt comfortable with it. Now that my W and I are talking more, I’m a little uncomfortable. I keep telling myself everything I’m telling you – detach, don’t have expectations.

We are way too resilient, we are. It’s almost part of the cruel joke, isn’t it? (my pessimistic, dark soul coming out). Life goes on, even as we are left wondering how it possibly could. But, I guess there is strength in that too. We survive. They, nor the sitch, can beat us. We can’t be beat. We can and will and are overcoming this as well. I won’t get too much more philosophical.

Me? Since I brought it up, and you laid yours out, I guess I have to share, at the risk of alienating or offending others. I hope y’all ( I lived in the south for a while) will be open minded.

Politics: left of center – cross between a leftists and a libertarian (do you have those over there?). Religion; agnostic works. I’ve recently discovered Unitarianism and think I can belong to that church. (what sect is the Salvation Army anyway?). Football; Real Club Deportivo de La Coruna (and Denver Broncos for American football). (I don’t really know much of anything about soccer. I lived in Spain, and started to follow the home team). Music; anything – bluegrass, classical, jazz, alternative, rock, western – accept things that I find to ‘normal’ or to ‘pop’.

Ta - and good luck. My best for your daughter.