Help me

[stubborn]

well check this out: DB coach said to tell spouse: "we chose to make this family together and if you choose to leave it fine. I will stay here and be family to DD and you will see her when you can. There will be no 50/50 sharing of child. This is your choice." That would cause the northern lights to dim, I assure you.

I can see in retrospect that this is based on having stood up to spouse before and having gotten a positive response. I have:

1)gone out of town with DD and then said "we're not coming home right now, we're going on ANOTHER jaunt". EXPLOSION!!!! So I came home, THEN after discussion of possible jaunt with spouse went anyway. She even defended me to other woman because of this. (after the explosion)

2)left spouse note that "I won't be home tonight to listen to your emailing OW" and slept away myself. Brings big apology

3)Spent the night away from home when she has her "sleepovers" and not been at home when she waltzes in @ 5:30am to get ready for work. She gets really pissy and tells me how irresponsible I am etc etc then gets over it and ends up apologizing for something...might not be related but it is a sign of some sort of remorse. Tough job for a woman who is "always right" (wait, are you sure I'm not married to YOUR wife?)

4)left the house with no notice when I hear the claky clak clak of email.

In short make spouse aware that her choices and sense of entitlement are the root of this problem and there will be consequences if she continues. (I am not saying I had not part in the initial "downward spiral" of relationship, I know EXACTLY what I did wrong and have admitted it several times)
Spouse is a person who does not face her "less than perfection" qualities very often or very well.

I know exactly how you feel about being a "wimp" but am sometimes able to take solace in the fact that I (and YOU) have a strong, long lasting strength. Sort of a "still waters run deep". But FFFK you have been at it longer than I so I can only imagine how ready you are for this to be over.

can you explain this more: "when you walk it should be because that's what YOU need to do, not for the R." (and can you explain how to use the damned "quote" thing on the bb?) Did you think that I was going to walk?