In reading Today's thought from Hazelden the other day, it made me give thought to how the LBS is in a way going through withdrawal from the MLC spouse.
As long term marriage partners, we become "addicted" to the relationship. I know this may sound harsh, but if the MLC spouse leaves the home, their is a period of withdrawal that the LBS experiences as a part that made them feel whole is no longer present. We go through a period where it feels much like the loss of a close loved one to death.
Alcohol or drugs can fill the void that is inside of us. The "drug of Choice" gives us comfort and helps us to feel "not alone."
When our MLC spouse leaves us, we have feelings of being all alone. This seperation from the known to the unknown brings about great fear and anxiety.
If all life experiences are to teach us lessons. What is the lesson to be learned in the seperation between the two spouses?
I think Today's thought from Hazelden may help to explain it.
Reflection for the Day
Among the many gifts that we are offered in The Program is the gift of freedom. Paradoxically, however, the gift of freedom is not without a price tag; freedom can only be acieved by paying the price called acceptance. Similarly, if we surrender to God's guidance, it will cost us our self-will, that "commodity" so precious to those of us who have always thought we could and should run the show. Is my freedom today worth the price tag of acceptance?
Today I Pray
May God teach me acceptance- the ability to accept the things I cannot change. God also grant me the courage to change those things I can. God help me to accept the illness of my addiction and give me the courage to change my addictive behavior.
Todat I Will Remember
Accept the addiction. Change the behavior.
This message comes from the book A Day at a Time, by Anonymous.
Maybe all of us have some form of addiction to something. Each of us have the opportunity to learn the lesson of "acceptance" whether it's a sibling who is dieing or the death of a marriage and relationship.
Each of us will have many opportunities to learn acceptance in our lifetime. It does get easier with each new experience, but it is still something I resist and fight as I want to control or change that which is not within my power.
