Help me

[stubborn]

I think DB coach wanted me to reinforce to spouse how painful this is and that SHE IS CHOOSING TO HURT ME. She is also choosing to shoot herself in the foot by risking her family. That's why I think it was suggested. It's actually some of the milder stuff that she suggested. Whoa, if I followed her advice to the letter you'd see the explosion from Canada!

alot of "act as if" helps but jeeze one can only take so much. I have also been known to leave unannounced when the clicking starts. Spouse didn't like that. boo hoo. I said I'd tell her when I was leaving. I did do that last night but when she said "ok, have a good time" I think something snapped. grrrrrrr. I have tried to captivate her in the evenings by inviting her to do things with me but...it doesn't always happen. She "invited" me to watch the oscars with her but then got up during commercials and typed. C'mon...perhaps I should have said it then. Perhaps monkeys should fly out of my butt...there are so many ways to feel: I am going to fall down and break, you are killing me, I am going to be ok either way but it will crush me first, my child will have to suffer needlessly for someones selfishness, I have done so many things wrong...choose one. Bad day at black rock...

part of me also thinks she might finally be able to see what she's risking if she had to do without it for a while.