He cannot get over the OW help us...

[Heartbroken]

Yeah and then the kids call to say they are home and that Dad is shoveling the driveway again - I swear the man does not want to go to his apt to think!!!! The truth is too painful!!

[ourcrisis]

I think you are doing good. I probably would be a total basketcase in front of OW. I already have a plan if I ever see OW I will just turn around and leave. I cannot stand the confrontation. I think you are great being able to stare at her and still kept your composure.
Just hugs here

[Heartbroken]

Thanks so much! I actually slept w/o a simply sleep pill last night and made it from 9 PM until 4:22 woke up and was happy I had an hour to go!!!

I worked out this morning - felt great! Today is the first day I try with all my might to keep EVERYTHING w/H POSITIVE! No Ow thoughts - I am trying to use the stop sign technique whenever my brain goes there!

Talked with H last night and kept it light and positive. He is keeping the kids after school and the apt and I am going to get them at 7 - will go shop and do stuff for ME!!!

[*KS*Chick*]

[Heartbroken]

He emails me like we are just this normal happy couple. I am just going to remain positive and be the stable woman in his life and hopefully the Ow will become more 'unstable' as she gets bored with all of this...

[*KS*Chick*]

You got it girl!!!

[theoden]

Yup...

Victory: It's when you stop hanging on his every word, it's when you stop examining every thought, gesture and smile he makes. It's when you stop giving the OW so much attention in your mind. It's when you start feeling very good about yourself and very secure.

--Theoden

[lovelyolive]

Absolute victory!

Isn't it just the strangest thing when your words and actions feel so "normal"? My H and I had the most normal night last night - like OW does not even exist. It sure feels good to get off that darn roller coaster every once in a while!!

Every day you are getting stronger and the OW is losing ground..woohoo!

[Heartbroken]

Question: H wants to do stuff at the house (he cannot sit still) on Sat. when I am at work and I feel that he needs to back off - he cannot have the separation he so "needs" or wants and have the family/home package we have together. He needs to see what it is like with the kids in a diff environment (his apt) as in how it will be with a D. Am I off basis? I said it's not like I can just show up to his apt and start decorating... Help me here am I off base? Am I pushing him away????

H asks if he's having the kids Sat. night too and I said we'll let them decide. I want H to have his alone time (or Ow time to see the true her without the fantasy life surrounding them). I will probably have them with me and then suggest we do a family movie on Sunday? Is this okay - I feel it's genuine no motives on my part. I hate all my second guessing though...

Patience Patience Patience - I know that is what I need!

What about H not having his home projects for awhile - any thoughts???

[*KS*Chick*]

I don't think you should tell him he can't if he's wanting to do those things......