Good to see you. A break is probably a healthy thing -- a more natural life in which you aren't always wrapped around your own axle is a good thing
When I post here, it is not about my own sitch. In truth, I post here for many reasons, some more admirable than others:
(1) it relieves work related stress (2) it is a positive way to avoid bad feelings about procrastinating--see (1), lol (3) I care about the people here and have a great deal of compassion and empathy for them (4) I believe I can really help some people (5) I find it very rewarding and feel good when I feel that I have really helped someone (6) I work out of my home a lot at this allows for some adult contact. I'll have more space for other activities in several months, but right now my non-work, non-family time is very limited. So for now, this is a good way to interact and do something that matters and is rewarding to me -- see (3)-(5), lol.
Notice that my personal life in terms of my M really isn't playing a role here. And, it really isn't. I am very happy in my M and no doubt my DB experience contributes to that all the time. But, I am not in analysis mode or trying to make things a certain way or trying to avoid seeing certain things, etc... I don't feel a need to keep others grasping at straws so I don't lose hope myself. I don't feel a need to justify the neediness or enmeshment of others to avoid seeing a problem with my own behaviors. I don't feel so lost that this board is a lifeline for me.
This is part of why it is easy for me to be direct and detached with people on the boards -- it truly isn't about me in terms of my personal life. It is OK if people get mad at me, lol. It is even OK if they lash out at me, because I can understand their pain and not take it personally. I also do not tell people what they want to hear merely to feel comforted, to keep their hate going, to keep their holier-than-WAS feeling alive and kicking. Sure, it helps momentarily, but in the long run it just keeps them feeling like victims. No one here is a victim of their spouse, with the exception of those who have suffered true spouse abuse.
