Sorry you're having a tough time at the moment - this piecing business is very very hard isn't it - I'm the same.
I know what you mean about jumping at every opportunity to be away - my H has stopped at a friends house 1 night almost every week since he came home because like yours there is no such thing as going out and not drinking and he wants to save the taxi fare home. It makes me wonder what is going on too. He was never like this before. I think maybe because they have been used to living the single life while separated it takes a while for them to tone it down to a more acceptable married man kind of lifestyle because they've built up new friendships and social circle. I think my H seems to be gradually toning it down now but I had pointed out to him in a nice way that he was going out 3 times a week.
As for the lack of affection I can't really offer any advice because I'm struggling with it too. It just doesn't seem normal to me to want to be with someone (as my H says he does) but not feel any need to ML or kiss.
I don't blame you for being worried about the holiday I would be too and it does take time for the trust to build back up after what you have been through. I thought I'd sorted my fears out but then last night H got a few texts and I thought he looked embarrassed and I was dying to ask who they were from - I think they were from the W he works with who he texted so much.
How far away is the holiday with his work mates? ie will there be enough time to work things out a bit more so that you feel more reassured about it? Are you at the stage where you can have a little talk with H to tell him that you are still building trust back up and the holiday makes you nervous? My H is open to little R talks but I don't know if yours is. Hope you sort it. IP
