New to Piecing II

[COG]

I've been a little laxed in posting this baby step.

My W gave me a card on V-day. First one in about 7 years. She thanked me for having passion, and for all that I've done for her and our R. She also said that I deserve the best.

I liked the card, but was a little unsatisfied because I did'nt get sex with the card. But she has'nt written anything that positive to me in a VERY long time. She's more committed than ever to make our M work. It's just her desire for sex that seems to be getting less and less. On a scale of 1 - 10 she's gone from a 2 to a zero or maybe even into the negatives. Although I think maybe last year when she was a 2, she might have been faking it, was actually a zero all along. Well the good news is it can't get any worse, there's not much less than NO sex, so it's all uphill from here!

Other good news is that we can talk about it, a little. I've backed way off on pursuing, almost never pursue anymore. I slipped up the other night but nobody's perfect. Giving her sexual space seems to make her more comfortable. I'm working on communicating how important sex is for me in nonthreatening, nonjudgmental, nonbegging ways. I'd like to try out a 2x4 sometimes, but my guess is that won't work too well.

So I'll continue on with the soft touch. Hope, and pray. I'll keep myself in decent shape, dress the best I can, and try to avoid her turnoffs. Life is soooo busy right now too. We're always tired. That definately does'nt help the sitch. But we are so close, have such a nice R. It's deep, it's honest, it's loving, it's comfortable and fulfilling. It's just not very sexual. That'd be a nice addition.

Could you all give that some prayer time for me!

Thanks,

COG

[Delil@h]

You got it.... Prayers for you and your wife.
God bless....

[believing_isaiah43]

Amen, sweet COG (& sadly, I am right there with you on that)

[amd]

Always, COG!

[Delil@h]

Cog,,,
Dear sweet gentleman,,
I know you have such great input and a wonderful mind so if you wouldnt mind reading my recent post and commenting on my ramblings. I am not being a slave to my emotions ( promise sweetie,, I think my meds/ and of course your help too actually sweetie!!!!!!!! are helping my passion to come up in me as a matter of fact!) but I am doing my more of the same junk.. PLEASE HELP.
God bless....

[COG]

Journal: W and I went out to a fund raiser dinner Sat. night. A lot of our friends were there and we had a nice time. W was a little stressed because she spent the day getting stuff ready. She gave me the go ahead to party it up, that she'd drive home, so I took her up on it. Had a couple of drinks and started loosening up, had a couple more and started to smile, a couple more and started howling. Well inside anyway. No I did not make a fool of myself; however, I did dance like nobody was watching and I had at least one or two nice married ladies to dance with every dance because their H's were too bored or tired or whatever.

So I just let it loose and had a great time. I danced with one particular mom and we were pretty hot, just very fun. But as soon as our wild dance was over, she threw her arms around me and gave me a very close, very warm hug that seemed to last a long time. Then we parted ways and as the next song started, I looked around to find another victim, I mean partner, and my W was standing right in front of me with a look like "hey, what about me"??? It was perfect timing. So I grabbed her for another nice fun and hot dance.

I was a wild child Saturday night!!! And it felt good! I'm really a very fun guy buried underneath all this responsibility, worry, fear, anxiety, etc. I think it's definately time to let the dogs out!!!

God Bless,

COG

PS Yes you can be fun and wild and still love Jesus.

[Delil@h]

PS Yes you can be fun and wild and still love Jesus.

COG,
I absolutley loved this ( I totally agree )and I laughed out loud... GOOD for you sweetie it feels good to let loose once in awhile and just have a blast. I am so happy for you!!!! ~Ali
God bless...

[AmyC]

Journal: W and I went out to a fund raiser dinner Sat. night. A lot of our friends were there and we had a nice time. W was a little stressed because she spent the day getting stuff ready. She gave me the go ahead to party it up, that she'd drive home, so I took her up on it. Had a couple of drinks and started loosening up, had a couple more and started to smile, a couple more and started howling. Well inside anyway. No I did not make a fool of myself; however, I did dance like nobody was watching and I had at least one or two nice married ladies to dance with every dance because their H's were too bored or tired or whatever.

So I just let it loose and had a great time. I danced with one particular mom and we were pretty hot, just very fun. But as soon as our wild dance was over, she threw her arms around me and gave me a very close, very warm hug that seemed to last a long time. Then we parted ways and as the next song started, I looked around to find another victim, I mean partner, and my W was standing right in front of me with a look like "hey, what about me"??? It was perfect timing. So I grabbed her for another nice fun and hot dance.

I was a wild child Saturday night!!! And it felt good! I'm really a very fun guy buried underneath all this responsibility, worry, fear, anxiety, etc. I think it's definately time to let the dogs out!!!

God Bless,

COG

PS Yes you can be fun and wild and still love Jesus.

HAAA!!!!

I LOVE this!!!!!!!

[COG]

Journal: I noticed something last night, another baby step. I was in the garage and knocked a picture magnet off the freezer door. I picked it up and put it back in place on the door, and just took a moment to look at all the pictures there. I was a little stunned to see a picture of W and I from about 10 years ago, sitting together at a dinner table, raising our glasses to toast something. There are'nt many pictures around of us together and it felt really good to see one finally made it from moth balls to the garage freezer door. Who knows, maybe next year we'll make the kitchen fridge?

Love,

COG

PS I love my W more than ever. She is the most beautiful, sexy, and fun woman I've ever known; and I make sure she knows it.

[amd]

COG, I love that image you two dancing. Fabulous!

And how wonderful to find that picture. A sign to keep on keeping on, I think. : )