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personally I think it's harder to work on a R from afar...

however since my H moved out, things have gotten slightly better between us so who knows. What do you feel - what is your gut telling you?


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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I can handle the truth, mostly because I know there was no physical relationship between the two of them. They don't have ANY sort of relationship now besides being co-workers. She has told me she misses him as a friend, and that she just focuses on her work and doesn't really think of him while she's there. Can she get through this withdrawal of not getting that "high" from him?

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My gut says to keep her near me, but I don't know if that's just so I know where she is at night, or if it's because I'm still just wanting to be in her company. I want to do what's best for the relationship.

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Well, like was said earlier. It's hard to work on a R from afar. So do what you have to do. Give it some time, and focus on your changes. She misses the excitement, maybe it's the sneaking around, or it's something else. Find out and change.


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Originally Posted By: start_today
I can handle the truth, mostly because I know there was no physical relationship between the two of them. They don't have ANY sort of relationship now besides being co-workers. She has told me she misses him as a friend, and that she just focuses on her work and doesn't really think of him while she's there. Can she get through this withdrawal of not getting that "high" from him?


For me, I got over it, but my sitch is a bit different...


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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If someone is going through the withdrawal period, how long does that usually take? With her working with him everyday, does it make it harder for her to let go? Do I ask her what was exciting about their relationship?

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Originally Posted By: start_today
If someone is going through the withdrawal period, how long does that usually take? With her working with him everyday, does it make it harder for her to let go? Do I ask her what was exciting about their relationship?


not unless you want her to return to it.....by reminding her of the good times?!

I wouldn't talk about it unless she brings it up...


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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Ask what you feel is necessary, but you need to give it some time. You are acting to fast, and it is going to hurt you. You need to take it slow. Let things start working itself out. She will grieve, and you need to support her. But don't FIX it. you can't FIX IT, you have to solve the problem by fixing yourself. Fix yourself and it will help her grieve faster. She will see actions and not words. Don't ask a lot of questions, let her tell you the answers when she is ready. She took a big step and is trying to end the A. So take this time to support her, and also take the time to change.


M-31
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bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
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Originally Posted By: jamespb75
Ask what you feel is necessary, but you need to give it some time. You are acting to fast, and it is going to hurt you. You need to take it slow. Let things start working itself out. She will grieve, and you need to support her. But don't FIX it. you can't FIX IT, you have to solve the problem by fixing yourself. Fix yourself and it will help her grieve faster. She will see actions and not words. Don't ask a lot of questions, let her tell you the answers when she is ready. She took a big step and is trying to end the A. So take this time to support her, and also take the time to change.


I'm trying, but I feel like I'm losing her.

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If she wants to go you can not change her mind. You can change yourself and that will change your relationship. You have to realize there are people here that have been doing this for six months to over a year. Your relationship is going to be lost for good if you keep pushing. Trust me.


M-31
W-25
S-1 1/2
bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
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