8, I'm with ya! I know the thing that sits in my mind re my sitch (and I hope this is helpful) is that when I suggested counselling to W she was almost desperate to refuse and keep things as is. I wonder, if she is so set on this new R and so sure of it, then why the absolute refusal to a) discuss our future and b) go to counselling and prove we shouldn't be together. She seems so fragile despite the declaration that she is "committed" to OP and that R. If she were able to say calmly that this is where she stands and where she wants to go, that would reassure me that I could call it quits. If she said "I'm a lesbian and that's that" then I could call it quits. I wonder too if your W's seeming commitment to the OP is really that binding. Why doesn't she just leave, why stay? What is keeping her there? Is it just the kids? I'm just not sure they are as sure of themselves as they want us to think.
