Hey, the whole infidelity thing is fun, isn't it guys? I've been told, and I believe, it really isn't about the OP, but, dude, it can sure complicate things, can't it?

After more talking, I don't think my W is too upset about my A. It was a few years ago, and I think she is thinking of other things more, bigger questions - like do I even want to be in a R with this guy (gulp!).

But, I'm still struggling with her A. She mentioned a couple of things she did while she was with OM. Basically, she had a great time out there. He is handsome, fun, and probably better than me at everything . I'm doing OK trying to keep these evil thoughts out of my head, and see things more realistically, but it's hard.

So she played poker with him and his friends. I didn't think she liked poker. I'd love to play poker with her and friends. So she saw a few movies with him. I would have liked to see those movies with her too. She went out with him and his friends - she never really wanted to go out with me and mine. If she was such a fun person, why didnt' she show me more of that fun side?

But you know what? She came back. Even if it was just for the kids (I still think it was at least a tiny bit for me in some wa), she still came back and she is here now. Maybe the fact that she told me some of these things shows she likes me and wants to share her life with me. She didn't seem to be mean - and she has been a little mean in the past.

I'm jealous of the OM, I'm jealous of the good times they had, and I feel really inadequate. I want to go and have good times for a month too. \:\/

But I know I can't try to compete, I'd lose. I've got to be myself and be confident.

And I know she came back. She is here and talks to me some. I know I can overcome these feelings. But I wonder, is he still the reason she can't decide if she wants to be with me or not?

M45, W45,S15, D10,
Bomb 10/3/06, Moved back in 11/6/06, finally ILY 9/07
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