Mojo's mom said "Don't hold this against me if you ever get back together but you are much better off without him. You've been carrying him for years."
Pretty astute comment from your mother. Did you know she saw your M this way?
When my late H got divorced from his first wife, he was convinced everyone would die of shock. They were pillars of their very large church-- they and their three children sang in the choir together. They had been married in that church. He was the church treasurer; his W was the classic Church Lady. Even the MIL was the Greeter at the Door. They were absolutely Ward and June Cleaver-- so people thought. When he left her, many many people came out of the woodwork and said, we don't see how you put up with her for so long. Then it was HIS turn to be shocked. He thought people couldn't see through the facade.
One person who was not supportive and in fact was very judgmental was his pastor. Until a few years later when the pastor's wife left him because of his uncontrolled alcoholism. Hmm... It was a long fall down from that high horse, but that event humanized the pastor as nothing else could have. He became full of compassion after that. At the time of my H's death, of course, both of us had become Jewish at that point and we had a Jewish funeral, but my H's sons and I invited this pastor to speak at the funeral since he had been so close to the family for years. He delivered a lovely eulogy (the rabbi did, too).
Divorce is a life event. People survive them. They even thrive after them. Some marriages need to dissolve... and clearly that dissolution can happen with love and civility. Yes, there is sadness and loss-- sadness and loss are life events, too.
Jenny, you must stick around the board!
I guess if people's sitchs start to change such that they no longer qualify for SSM, we could all form a My Space group or something, just to keep in touch.
