Part of the problem with talking with everyone about what you are doing is that EVERYONE will have an opinion on what YOU should do. My support group has been on me like crazy to kick my H out. Finally, last week I told them all that while I appreciate their support, only I know all of the dynamics at work. They are certainly free to give advice but until you actually live what we are living, they have NO IDEA what they would need to do. I told them that I will work this out in MY time not theirs.
You need to decide what you want. It sounds to me like your ultimate goal is to save your marriage. If that's the case, you need to do whatever it takes to reach that goal. You can control YOU.. that's it! Speak and act using your head.. cry while you're not around him. Keep your emotional comments to yourself (this is really hard for me, too!)
He obvioulsy still wants to see you - the grocery shopping thing seems like a great opportunity to test your DB'ing skills.... Look great...Show him the awesome woman that you are
