You may not have had a chance to read Dr. Laura yet, but the gist is what she says is two pronged. The first is to be an inspiration to your husband to inspire him to move mountains. The other is to play to his masculinity and sense of protectiveness by playing to your femininity and sense of vulnerability. I agree that your letter is good, but asking to hear ALL he has to say could be putting him on the spot. You don’t know if that other 90% is good or bad, something you want to hear or not. I’m sure that 90% is in the forefront of his mind and when he is comfortable, he will tell you.
Instead, one idea I have is for you to lead by example and show your vulnerable side. I know this will be hard for you, but you’ve already done a lot of it. Perhaps by discussing some of your fears, what you have learned about them, and how they have caused you to react, you could convey the impression that what you’ve always wanted is to have his strength and security to comfort and for him top love you all along. Emphasize that aspect of him and ask him to help you over come your anxieties. Let him figure it out that he did not provide that to you before.
