The fat lady is warming up....

[tigerleland]

Here's my thread if you lost it in the mix-up

New Phase

[OldFool]

Thanks. Nothing new to report. As far as I know my WAW is still going to IC and we haven't done (for one reason or another) JC since mid-December. At this point, our counselor doesn't think there's much left for me to work through so I'm not going back to IC unless something changes with respect to JC. So I remain in a kind of emotional purgatory.

[OldFool]

Nothing much new to report. I have heard little from my WAW and nothing from our C. Don't know if WAW is still going to counseling or not. Got an e-mail from WAW saying her birthday was coming up and it seemed odd I wasn't involved. I sent her a very (very) generic birthday card (it's her 30th) but said/did nothing else about it.

Got a V-day card from her! She said something to the effect that she hoped I could find some joy in the day because I deserved it. I laughed out loud . She cheats on me, leaves me, says she doesn't love me, and files for divorce...but hopes I can find joy in the day. That is just so bizarre as to be either horribly tragic or laugh-out-loud funny (I opted for the latter).

alamogirl:

What's up with you? How are you doing? I haven't heard a thing for a while so I hope all is OK.

[I_Wanna_Make_It_Work]

OF - Nice to get an update once in a while from you. Glad your staying strong. Not much to say, just hello and I'm thinking about you.

[stilldazed]

OF-
I have alot of catching up to do on your thread, lord knows Im not good for any advice yet, but ill be around for support. I understand the absudity of the v-day message, but man do i wish I got one.

[OldFool]

IWMIW:

Thanks.

[OldFool]

Not a terribly eventful day, but an interesting one. I don't often have much to post here, but two things did happen today.

First, our MC called me today to say she wanted to meet with me regarding "where [my WAW] is at" and to schedule two following appointments for joint sessions. I literally haven't seen my WAW in over two months and, to be honest, it feels a little strange. You'd think I'd be more excited, but I'm not. My WAW represents such awful pain and betrayal that I really don't even want to be in her presence. But, of course, I'll go.

I can't say I'm on pins and needles, but I am curious as to what will transpire. I haven't had any statement from my WAW or anyone else as to "where she is at" so it will be the first glance into her head I've had in a very long time. The fact that she has apparently continued IC and wants to do JC again after a two-month hiatus could be a baby step forward. But it may also be meaningless.

And, for those to whom I always seem to be preaching about expectations, that's the point. I could analyze this to death, but I'm choosing not to. I don't know what it means and have no real hope of figuring it out. So, I'm just going to wait and see what transpires and, as I said, I have no doubt it'll be interesting.

Second, my WAW left me a small gift for my upcoming birthday. This is not unusual (she's left something for me on two prior occassions) so that's not why I mention it. What I found interesting was the message inside the card. She wrote, "I'm thinking of you and am hoping for the best for us." I'm not attaching any particular significance to it, but I do find the choice of "the best for us" curious. It wasn't "the best for you", or "the best for each of us", or "the best for you and me". I believe it's the first time in months she's used the term "us" in any communication.

Well, that's about it. Like I said, not really much to report, just another bend in the long and winding road.

[alamogirl]

Hi OldFool,

I'm doing ok, thanks for checking up on me. I have nothing new to report. I'm still attending IC. My last session was on 21 Feb 07, and I really had nothing to say.

I still need to sit with my lawyer and go over some things that I don't understand. My H's lawyer requested an extension, which is good because I still haven't gathered the data his lawyer is requesting. I know I have to do it but I just don't have the desire to go sifting through old records from the time we were happy. Everytime I find a receipt or something with a date on it, I just think where we were at that time. Funny though, my therapist said that by the time the WAS leaves, they have thought of it for a while. I found receipts of stuff we bought back in Nov/Dec 05 timeframe (we split Jun 06). If WAH knew he wasn't going to be around much longer, why the hell did we waste time shopping around for the perfect washer/dryer and fridge! I still find it all too bizarre!

The good news is I've lost 20 lbs since I've joined Weight Watchers. I've also lost inches because I've dropped around 3 pant sizes. I'm looking forward to my mini-vacation in May. I'm attending my niece's college graduation from UNLV--Las Vegas, here I come!

Let us know how your JC goes.

Take care...all my best,
alamogirl

[OldFool]

I understand the absurdity of the V-day message, but man do I wish I got one.

Don't feel too bad. It's a real mixed blessing. I'm in a good place so it doesn't really phase me, but a couple months ago it would have really messed with my head.

[JSD]

HI Alamogirl,

I am in SA, you? I think they do it because they hope it will change. They are kind of in a dream world. They are as Frank calls it living in LaLa land.

My wife let me buy a washing machine and dryer that cost $2900 bucks and left 2 months later. So I know how you feel. The Problem in most cases is they do not feel.

Hillcountry