I found out about OW back in December. We tried until the first week of Jan. to make things work. He moved out first week of Jan to go live in a tiny apartment with OW. OW is divorced twice with three kids none of which live with her full time. This told H nothing. End of Jan on my birthday the 31 he moved back lasted 5 days and withdrawl for OW got the best of him. He has always told me he loved me. He has had a hard time dealing with the guilt and had no counseling. In January I did the whole call, texting, begging, chasing, inviting to dinners with me and our two kids. BTW our daughter is 11 and our son is 8. At the beginning of Jan it was this is my choice I love her but by the end of the month he was missing us so much and had softened. He is now back there with her and everyone had told me to back off. I had a hard time until this past week. Last Sunday morning he was rude to me on the phone in front of OW and I decided to give space then. I started seeing Counselor this past week. She explained why I can not chase and why I cant initiate contact. Ow is also having surgery next week a hysterectomy. Back in Jan when I would ask him to come home it was always I promised to get her through her surgery. Anyway counselor said this is perfect timing to do no contact because OW will be kind of out of range for him and I will be not as available either. Okay I understand all this and I have become closer to God through all of this. What are the other aspects to this besides not initiating contact? Should I still talk to him about how is night or day is going when he calls? Should I ever invite him to anything? He has to drive 30 minutes to our home now to help with kids and I know that will wear on him as well. Not to mention we just bought this house last Spring and now he is with her in a dinky apartment. Any other advice and any other insight will help. Everyone has said no way will this work because she wont stay with him knowing she cant meet his family. They have already made it clear she isnt welcome, she will not be around our kids, so no holidays. They really have nothing together. My husband has told me he would not divorce me because I can not refinance our home on my wage and he said he wouldnt do anything to cause us to lose our home. Okay sorry so long and sorry I am rambling. What does everyone else think????????
