Mojo, I'm sad for you and happy for you at the same time. Brave decision that makes a LOT of sense.
An amicable divorce is CERTAINLY the way to go-- there is no need for either of you to punish the other one. I know couples who have split and when they have met new partners, actually became kind of an extended family.
I think you have done anything anyone could to make this work-- and I'm so glad he acknowledged it. It has seemed, reading your posts, like shoving a square pet into a round hole-- perfect description. He probably could have done more on his side, but speaking as a 4, it is very hard to drag yourself out of the negative 4 place. One has to be VERY motivated like me with my 30 years of therapy, meditation workshops, yoga, constant reading and seeking (and he is not like that). It's no crime not to be a seeker, but if you're a non-functional 4, you can go down and stay down and drag everyone down with you. (Ask my first husband.)
I predict that this will not be as painful as you might anticipate. There will be ups and downs-- expect them. And expect them to come and go for a year or more. Sadness, nostalgia, achiness... but I predict those emotions will be vastly outweighed by relief, freedom, anticipation, exhilaration, and optimism.
Keep us posted on your state of mind... always glad to hear what's going on with you.
Your kids are going to be JUST FINE, especially if you and H remain friends.
