8, this is where you and I have something definately in common. I, too, have always worked my butt off to support my W's career and educational goals. I picked up the slack in a lot of areas in our life. Did I help her become so self centred by doing so? Who knows but I felt I was respecting her, honouring her etc etc. So if I was doing such a magnificent job why did she feel she had to turn elsewhere for real connection? You may want to ask that of yourself. BUT the real question is "where do you want to be in the future and how are you going to get there" If you believe that the macho, out the door thing IS part of the answer, then go for it! No one else can tell you what the solution is to your situation, you ARE the expert on that. Only you know what has worked in the past and what might work again. If you believe that your stance as her houseboy has put you where you are, then definately look at changing that. Watch for things that seem to make a difference and repeat them. If something isn't working then change it. Do something different. It's all part of the DB game. Can you do this better with her elsewhere? That is the other question.
