Marc, I can tell you that in my situation, our MC was very much against separation, even though both of us felt we could use some alone time. He felt that spearation leads to divorce.
The bowling idea is something new, different and fun. I have no idea what candlelit bowling is,lol...sounds romantic, though. Maybe you could make plans to go, invite her along, and still go if she says no.
As far as the snooping goes, you do need to be on your guard, but if it's making you drained, detach from it awhile. Just don't turn a blind eye. Let's see what she plans to do to give you reassurance.
