Quote: ------------------------------------------------- I don't know what I have the 'right' to want. Nops, I'm really going to need your input on that one-I need your objectivity. -------------------------------------------------
The "Rights" are as simple as can be, and the hardest thing, at least at first, to do. The rights are to have your needs met. He has a right to get his needs met also. This is what you will be negotiating. You will build a new relationship based on needs being met.
Here is the hard part. The most desired need on his part will be the very thing that you most dislike doing. The reciprocal will be true with him. Not meeting that need on both sides is at least in part to blame for the current state of your relationship.
I would like for you to read a book "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley. It is a quick read, simple, and outlines the principles of need meeting better than any other book I have come across. Your husband will need to read it to. Then the two of you will need to do the worksheets in the back of the book.
There is no magic fix for relationships, but there are often simple fixes.
The first step for you and hubby is to put the past behind you after you have both identified your issues. You both are doing fine on that.
The second step is to negotiate your new relationship. You will do that with a plan to meet each other's needs. Simply put, you will put in place, actions that will define your love for each other on an ongoing basis.
I will give you more details as you progress. There is much to digest, and you two are doing great. Just remember to hold your temper and tongue in check. No explosions. Don't let anger kill your progress.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
