When we talk to one another, I never feel heard. He argues with everything I say and then I argue back trying to reiterate my point and eventually we both get pissed.
I understand. W and I did the same thing. Then we started to SAY the same sort of things you put in your letter, even though we both felt like we had been saying it all along. But we were actually IMPLYING our concern for the marriage, rather than coming out and stating it in unequivocal terms that can leave no doubt. But that is scary because now we have committed ourselves, whereas before, implying our commitment felt to the other like we each had one foot out the door.
Go back and read you old posts. They were full of “he should do this” or “he should know that.” I scanned your letter. Except for prefacing your message with “….he should still be awake,” you did not use the word “should” anywhere in your letter. Were you consciously aware of this at the time you wrote it?
Again, you are doing really good, until this statement:
If H is interested in meeting me half way as LFL put it, Dr. Laura will be the first book I buy, I promise. I know, I know it will be a good read regardless, but if things don't work out between H and I....well, she's not going to be first on my list of books. Maybe eventually.
