I did go to a Weight Watcher's type meeting and was quizzed about it, by BB. Her statement of several years ago that no one would want me didn't seem to be her attitude after I told BB all of the other attendee's were female. I went several times but was feeling like I was going for the social contact, more than the intent of the meetings.
I have considered something like the dance situation several times but didn't know how to approach the topic w/o looking like I was trying to have contact with females on the side but in the open.
I did ask BB about 6 months ago if she would be interested in dance lessons and joining a regular group. Nothing became of the idea.
Your wife has told you that other women wouldn't be interested in you. Let me tell you something; working, capable, and sexual men at your age are in high demand. At the time she said it, her comment hurt and I was worried part of it was true. Not anymore!
In reality, part of her comment was true. I don't spend a lot of money, so some female cohorts wouldn't like my lifestyle. But to some women my age, I would be the almost perfect partner. I know that more now than I did two years ago, so the "no woman would want me" is almost laughable now.
I will say the women on this forum helped me so much in an indirect way. After reading forums about women having no interest in sex and some of their stories about hot flashes, drier Virginias as they age, I was beginning to see a pattern in older women, that lead me to start thinking most women just wanted to hold hands and not do anything more.
After reading here about some women's feeling of abandonment, feeling somewhat useless, telling about their loneliness when not pursued, I saw that lack of sexual desires in a man are not that much fun in the man's and the woman's life. I started hearing how much other women wanted to be chased and held by their main man.
Reading the women's stories about what they missed and wanted, caused me to see the value in what I had and wanted. The longer I read, the more I saw myself and what I wanted as perfectly normal for me.
I also saw how coming from a place of great need, caused me to appear needy, not something that brings out a feminine response that I was looking for.
Many years ago, at social and church like functions, I use to suppress most, if not all of any male/female dynamics that I felt. It was drummed into the group members, I/they shouldn't have those feelings if they were good members.
While I don't flirt, I am not suppressing all of the male/female vibes when we do go out in a group. I think BB can see what is going on and might be seeing me for who I am, not the low value person she might have thought me to be. I think she sees other people seeing me as someone more worthwhile than she thought I was, and might be having second thoughts as to how valuable our R is to her.
Get out from under her. Stop chasing her. Grab your hat and suit, go out and just have a look for yourself at how many single women your age and younger are interested. I do see some women are looking. In church one woman asked me to bring some of my male friends because there were extra single women attending our AARP like group functions. I know a couple of guys, but they are almost anit-women so in a way understand how some women might feel like there aren't many good, working men to choose from. I see the supply/demand dynamics in some ways.
Let your wife chase you for a while. I get the point NOP. I am out from under her grip, the grip that I perpetuated by thinking more gets done with honey, than leadership, to a larger degree than several months ago. In some ways I gave up on the R being my way. That lead to me not feeling bad if BB wanted to go her way. That lead to me saying she could buy any patio home she wanted, anytime she did her own move, when she was throwing out the D word. I got to a point of feeling "fine, if that is what YOU/SHE wants" not out of mean spiritedness, but out of wanting something peaceful for me and something peaceful for her. I was getting to the un-fused state.
My next project for myself is how to do something like the dance situation w/o coming across like I am out looking for an OW or a string of "just friends females."
I am not into religion that heavy, and in fact have several thoughts about Christianity that would indicate me being rebellious of some of the core tenants. I totally get the ethics and the good will implied in most areas of faith circles and beliefs. Some of this faith stuff is a bigger mystery to me so I don't spout off as what I believe might be true. I am more the concrete, replicate it type guy from Missouri.
I did have a longer post, but mistakenly pasted two things to the word processor’s clipboard, the second thing erasing the first thing. The first thing was my longer reply.
