You are being strong through all of this. Stand tall.
I'd say...
Take your time responding to him. You don't need to call back right away, let him stew in his juices.
Remember: you are calm, collected and cool. You are not desperate or crazy. His relationship with the other woman is getting sordid and nasty. Trust me, your composure, getting a life, and increasing sexiness is only going to make the affair look like a bad soap opera.
You probably shouldn't date until have a finalized divorce. You are still married. His infidelity does not justify yours.
Threatening him with going on dates...well...it's not cool and composed, it's an obvious tactic to make him jealous. If you are not going to date someone else, don't threaten to.
Regarding the other woman's husband. Well, your husband is reaping what he sowed. There's a chapter in Proverbs warning about a jealous husband who will avenge the shame of his wofe's dishonor. They write operas and make movies about this, and often they end up in violence. The only thing bad about this, is that the OW's husband, by his actions, is pushing the OW more towards your husband. He's not divorce busting. You might want to send. Ever think of mailing him a copy of the Divorce Remedy?
Telling your kids. Ouch.
All I can say, is that I would not give my daughter the "PC" version about your husband's affair. That's me.
Look in your heart, is it moral or immoral for him to have an affair?
