Yeah, it's tough responding to intimacy which makes you uncomfortable. When I was "schnarching" my H he revealed a fantasy that had me playing snarling, rabid lioness to his puppy dog/monkey in a way that really, really stretched my limits. I had to think about it for a whole day before I could do it (as opposed to my usual 3.5 minutes-LOL). I'm sure you'll come up with something. The thing to keep in mind is that you are just "playing". Fantasy play doesn't need to impact your real life loving relationship if you are differentiated enough to separate the two. I knew a happily married couple who in real life were mild mannered nerds but were totally into S&M in bed. Sometimes people want/need to play sexually with roles that are denied to them or the opposite of what they need/want in real life. It doesn't have to be any scarier than the play that you did as a child if your real relationship is solid. Although, as you well know, it is sometimes easier to reveal yourself in this way to the "stranger in the alley" than a person whose opinion you care about or whose support you need.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
