Ok BF, two questions: have you gone through this BS with a spouse or are you going throught it now? Are you married to a woman that is comparable to my wife (have you been married to or are you now married to one of these aggressive, power hungry, disrespectful women)?
Brother you hit the respect issue right on the head. Man when my wife turned into a bit*h to get along with (read my earlier posts about her attitude), I bailed out of the relationship. I see now that that was a HUGE mistake. I should have stood my ground and beat her down. Yeah, that's right, I should have been more of a basta*d. You know, I have told this woman before that if she were a man and treated me the way that she has on occassion, she'd have one of two options, beat my a** or have hers beaten. The above statements are about MY failure.
This is my opinion about HER failure. As my self-esteem has returned somewhat I am beginning to see my wife and our relationship in a completely new light. My wife knows (knew, I'm not sure about this anymore) that I'd never leave her. My wife knows that I'd never be abusive to her. My wife knows that I'd always be there for her in any situation that she got into, she had a safety net. My wife knows that I'd never cheat on her. She took advantage of my commitment, trust, loyalty, etc. and she did whatever she wanted to do. Basically, she knew there'd be no dire consequences for her actions, so why worry about stomping me. I have a very, very, very real problem with anyone with this type of attitude. You don't take something that's good and sincere in a world full of sh*t and corrupt it for power. If there's one thing in all of this that would make me turn my back on her and file papers, it's her lack of maturity and integrity regarding our relationship. This is not my problem; this is her problem.
Believe me brother, she is well aware of my feelings regarding this respect issue. She has been told by me in no uncertain terms that we will NOT go back to the relationship that we've had for the last several years. Those days are over, period. She wants to be a bit*h, I have no problem with that, but she'll be a bit*h with with a new man. In an earlier post I said that I had looked inside of myself and was very disappointed with what I found, this is the ugliness that I found, me not having enough respect for myself to put her in her place when this power struggle began. Instead, I became a doormat.
As David Deida says in 'The way of the superior man' if she can provide her own masculine energy, what does she need you for? No disrespect to you BF, but this sounds to me like some new age psyco babble BS. If that's all that one person is to another, then the person with those feelings should take a good long look at their life and take a look at their priorities. What a sad a** way to go through life and have relationships with people. That's like accusing an abused child of wanting to be abused or causing the abuse--that's just BS from the get go.
My friend, I don't agree with your view of earning respect. You give another person respect until they do something to warrant no longer being respected. Being a peace maker and keeping peace in your house, marriage, the world, etc. is not a reason to disrespect someone. If anything, those people should be admired. I understand what you're saying, but my spouse has had no reason to disrespect me other than HER own screwed up way of viewing me in our relationship. I have always kept my word with this crazy a** woman. If I have not kept my word with anyone in this marriage, it's been not keeping my word with myself.
BF you've pi**ed me off. Not by what you've said or suggested (I appreciate your help, honesty, and sincerity here), but you've made me look again at this ugliness that's poisoned me for years.
Where is the board that you mentioned that these "career" women post on? I too would like to go there and read some of the posts to see if I can glean any insight(s) into my current situation.
