I think I'm going to set up a date/togetherness night every weekend. I'm going to schedule a babysitter for one night every weekend, plan for fun events, and take her out (of coure there'd be no sex, petting, or romance on these dates as we're an old married couple contemplating divorce :().
Good for you! I think that is a wonderful idea.
Keep in mind, your wife is really pissed right now (whether you agree with her or not, or think she is justified or not). So when you ask her on the date, try a boyish approach to it, and maybe fill in with some humor, if the situation isn't too charged.
You could try and hold her hand... and if she pulls away, let her, and not even comment on it.
NO R talk. At ALL.
The DB book recommends you doing a 180 on past behavior, and to really try and be her 'friend.' There is a section on this site about doing 180s, and if you get the time, you might want to check it out, and see what some others have tried.
If you get the chance, I HIGHLY recommend you call one of the DB coaches on this site. Though all of us around here like to think we are every bit as smart as some shrinks are... the truth of the matter is, we can really only speak from our own points of view. These DB coaches have worked with hundreds of people, all in situations like your own, and I've heard nothing but great reviews on the advice they give.
