Sex Drive and Life Style

[MJontheMend]

Your H is SOOOO much like mine. He too has a type 2 mother.

Does your H have an emotionally repressed Type 1 father also?

No sh!t. Of course he hasn't, he has never had to since the day his mum told him to hang his coat on the hook and he got away with pretending he couldn't. Again my H is exactly the same way he has broken every agreement we have ever made that requires him to step up to the plate in some way.

Yes, it is maddening. As I have posted before if I asked my H to commit to drinking beer and watching football with me every Sunday, he wouldn't keep that deal either. I thoroughly believe that a man shouldn't constantly kowtow to his W if he wants to earn her respect but there is a difference between supplicating and honoring a contract and why should we want to be in a marriage, an institution which is a contract, with men who won't honor contracts? We would have to be idiots or martyrs or quite possibly both.

I can well imagine Mojo that your have been exactly the same way with your own kids.

Well, I have had to do a bit of the "momma bear who won't catch the fish anymore for the cub" with my Type 5 son but my daughter is a self-sufficient Type 9 like you so it really wasn't necessary.

So why can't we do it with our H's? Because this kind of manipulative behaviour in an adult is alien to us, and therefore we don't see it for what it is, we kind of believe there really must be something wrong for a grown man to be acting that way. When your H acts like he will starve to death if you don't leave him dinner in a crockpot he is ACTING LIKE A 3 YEAR OLD. Next time your H is stuck up that tree resist the urge to lift him down, maybe even give the tree a bit of a shake (he he he).

Brilliant insight and advice.

And they can be REALLY convincing. Your H's suicide threats are precisely in this modus operandi.

You know I did have the thought that it was kind of like a kid holding his breath or banging his head against the wall but, like you said, it's difficult to believe this version when you're dealing with an adult. The thing to remember, I'm thinking, is that even when you are dealing with a real child in that sort of situation, the child believes that his feelings are absolutely valid. Adults are just much more convincing. Also, we believe that we shouldn't have to do that sort of mothering for an adult.

That's his tree. Leave him to climb out of it on his own.

Yeah, but when you leave a stubborn adult in a tree, you might have to walk real far away before they believe that you aren't going to come back and help them.

p.s. Anytime you want to come and visit the gardens of England let me know we can go round them together and then come back to my place for afternoon tea (or gin whichever )

Sounds great, I'll put it on my schedule for right after my honeymoon with Cobra.