Wanted to clarify that I do NOT think that pair of statements is a truism, that was the point I was trying to make. What I was saying was IF that pair of statements were always true, then it would be difficult to get past the first date, kwim? I think it is the burden of the man (cynically speaking, on the other hand it is a fun part of being a man) to have to be the one to prove that the R is strong before sex occurs. Granted, a lot of people will jump in the sack with little provocation these days (not saying that is necessarily bad, just risky), but I think in terms of building a long-term R, the man must be patient about the sexual issue.
I agree with your idea that the woman SHOULD be able to see the marriage certificate, the home loan, the rug-rats, the joint bank accounts, etc. and KNOW that their is strength in the R. OTOH, all of these things can be in place, and yet still the R is weak. You could have all of the above and still not love someone, have OW on the side, etc.
Hope this is making sense. As I mentioned to Choc, I've been kinda wallowing myself for awhile now so my thoughts are not as cogent.
GGB,
I think your points are well made. We often just assume as men that the W will be the one to tend to all the little weeds while we pull the big ones (kindof like BF's lion analogy), and I do see the wisdom in such an arrangement, as woman are I believe innately better at managing the R (emotionally healthy women anyway). However, I think sometimes it isn't just pulling weeds, its planting flowers that is necessary, and I think that is where a man can really excel. The difficulty lies when we expect a flower to be planted in return.
Also, as is the case for me, sometimes we plant weeds ...
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
