Harmonic Divergence

[Lord Grenville]

Thanks Haphazard, Corri, NOPkins, 2nd Chance, Lilliperl, hairdog and all others - you have been providing me such amazing guidance, insight, and caring, that I know I can continue the good fight!

I have a 2nd night of restful sleep, I rode an exercise bike and worked out at the gym, and best of all, my artist rep for digital work told me a little while ago that he has a couple of job leads he is going to recommend me for!

So I am much more optimistic about GALing soon.

Right now though, I am in the very strange world, where my wife and I can more ofthen than not, converse, communicate and get along as though everything is fine, but right nearby, there is the 2000 pound elephant in the room that neither of us seems to mention to the other.

I still have so many questions I want to ask her, but I hesitate to do that because I know I will see her face transform slightly into this stranger that showed up a few weeks ago - a beatiful woman who is making herself more attractive by the day, but not for me. A woman who can smile one minute and then accuse me with a scowl of being controlling when I ask a simple question like: "Did you see B. on Dec. 18 when you were at that conference with your Tufts colleagues?" I am starting to suspect that that conference was highly fictonal, but I need to check more facts.

What I find most astounding is that she still has not offered a single semblance of an apology, despite knowing how it has impacted me in the recent days. She hasn't even tried to explain this as a big misunderstanding on my part.

Unfortunately, I am going to have to take leave from my computer again, without writing at length, because I agreed to meet my W at the bank where we used to have joint accounts. I shifted 50% of our account funds to a secure account of my own two days ago, Today we need to finalize the halving of the $$. She was simmering last night about the fact that electronic banking web page listed my name and not hers at the top, but that is simply because I took the initiative to set it up two years ago. I think she was actually breathing a sigh of relief that I took the high road by being equitable with the transfers and then informing her the night we saw our C about what I did with the funds.

I'll post again tomorrow. ciao.